WELCOME TO
One rule:
You do not have to make your grief comfortable for other people.
No casseroles. No platitudes.
We say the things that make everyone else uncomfortable.
Grief is sad, angry, lonely, absurd—and occasionally funny as hell. This is a place for the unfiltered parts: dark humor, honest stories, questionable thoughts, and people who understand why all of those things can exist at the same time.
The honest update
To be honest—nothing has changed.
After the first year I still struggled. I lost my job and ended up in retail—customer service and me, BLEH. I’m still struggling. I need help to pay my bills. I’m in debt. I sold the house, moved into an apartment—and wish I still had the house.
Most of our cats have passed. I’ve met new friends. Lost new people. Decided I love dancing, but I can’t afford it anymore. I need the people and see myself slowly falling into a pit again. This is a bad time to be stuck at home.
Got my hip replaced a few weeks ago. Still driving around in my Juke. Lost another job recently. Now I don’t know what the hell to do.
But I am still here.
I still wake up every day missing you, but I am learning to live with it. I’m still looking for signs. I still want you here, but I’m going through it one day at a time.
Five years ago I didn’t think I would be standing—and I still am. I fight every day to get out of bed. I hate making these decisions on my own. Honestly, nothing has really changed in five years. Life still sucks.
The only thing I got going is that I get up every day and try to get through.
The hallway wall
Leave a little something behind.
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